Encouragement – Day 27 of the Love Dare

Encouragement – Day 27 of the Love Dare.  Praise your spouse for something positive they’ve done and assure them of your unconditional love.  Live by encouragement rather than expectations

Day 27 – Love Encourages

Guard my soul and deliver me; do not let me be ashamed for I take refuge in You ~ Psalm 25:20

THE DARE – eliminate the poison of unrealistic expectations in your home. Think of one or two areas where your spouse has told you that you’re expecting too much, and tell them you’re sorry for being so hard on them about it. Praise them for something positive and assure them of your unconditional love.

Choose to live by encouragement rather than expectations. Love puts focus on personal responsibility and improving ourselves rather than demanding more from others.

Jesus painted a picture of this when He said “how can you say to your brother, ‘let me take the speck out of your eye’ and behold, the log is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brothers eye.” Matthew 7:4-5

• Does your spouse feel like they’re living with a speck inspector?
• Are they routinely on edge, fearful of not living up to your expectations?
• Would they say they spend more days sensing more of your disapproval than of your acceptance?

Give your spouse the grace and room to be themselves

When it seems clear to your spouse that you are unhappy with them, whether by direct confrontation or with the silent treatment, it’s hard for them not to feel deflated instead of motivated. Instead of putting your mate in a position to rebel, love says to give them the grace and room to be themselves.

Love calls you to lead by example but not to force the same standards on your mates performance. Marriage is a relationship to be enjoyed and savored along the way. It’s a unique friendship design by God Himself where two people live together in flawed imperfection, yet deal with it by encouraging and building, not by exhausting and belittling.

Don’t you want married life to be a place where you can enjoy free expression of who you are, growing within a safe environment that encourages you even when you fail? Your spouse does too. And your love gives them that privilege.

Be complementing and help your spouse soar

If your wife or husband has told you on more than one occasion that you make them feel beaten-down and defeated, then you need to take those words to heart. You can either be a critical anchor holding them back or a complementary wing helping them soar. Being with you should recharge them and lower their stress levels, not drain them and wear them out.

Let them be inspired by your appreciation. Let them be empowered by your sincere prayers and your strategic prayers. Focus on their strengths and point out what they are getting right. Let your words lift them to a new height.